Lemon Water



The Highest Compliment You Can Get

I dissapeared for a while. Sorry about that. At least, sorry for leaving you hanging.

I’m happy.

My dad keeps repeating to me that I’ve been paid the highest compliment I could have received. My mom tells me it is better than getting an award at school. And I am feeling so intensely lucky.

Thank you world.

Of the colleges that I applied to the following accepted me:

  • Bard
  • Bennington
  • Bowdoin
  • Middlebury
  • Mt Holyoke
  • Smith
  • Vassar
  • Williams

I was waitlisted at

  • Swarthmore

My top three choices were

  • Bard
  • Vassar
  • Mt Holyoke

And I visited

  • Bard
  • Vassar
  • Mt Holyoke
  • Williams
  • Bowdoin

I took off Bowdoin because… it was so USAmerican. So typical. I could already feel myself constrained in it. Lovely college, good academic level, but… I want a more international, global place, where I can STRETCH. I took of Williams because it felt too… not conservative, but structured? I liked the free feeling of others. Mt Holyoke was lovely, but a bit WASPy to me, women’s only (and at times that is good, at times that is bad, but I decided that I wanted to flourish in a place with a fuller spectrum of gender), and didn’t give as much financial aid. The final choice between Vassar and Bard… was really hard. I still look at it and feel a bit unsettled at how hard it was.

I chose Vassar because I felt I could thrive there more. I loved Bard’s eccentricities, the “fringe” quality of it… but I also realized I would have a harder time fitting in, settling in. And I’m tired of having to work to do that, considering how my life has all been “survive and adapt” with each move. I will still do that, of course, but Vassar will let me be myself… without an expectation of going farther into the fringe, to be more wacky. While visiting Bard, I felt a bit like… there would be judgement on how mainstream you are. And that you would find people trying their best to reject everything that is accepted in “main”. Posing. In a sense. That is easily outweighed by the incredible people, the creative, the wacky, the crazy, the unique, the truly-honest-really-themselves-and-no-one-else-people, but…  I’m not so crazy. I love people who are crazy creative, crazy original. But I know, that in comparison, Vassar will help me more. I will spend less energy adapting, more energy in thriving. In creating. In learning.

Vassar is space. Vassar is opportunity. It’s top level education, it’s got amazing classmates, it has the beautiful campus, amazing facilities. It has the atmosphere of enjoyment, of freedom, of learning. It has the sense of a community. It feels… it feels like it could be home. It feels like I can live and be happy, learn and enjoy, study and grow. I feel that it will give me space to explore who I am, what I want to do, but be there next to me in case I start teteering at an edge. I feel it will let me choose my path, but will give me maps and guidelines, and give me the stones and help to build my own trace.

There is a reason why my favorite quote is “caminante, no ha camino, se hace camino al andar”… or “traveller, there is no path; you make your path as you walk.”

I’m happy with my choice. I’ve been talking to amazing people, to creative people, to the people that are going to be my friends and classmates and who will define the next four years of my life.

Estoy feliz. Orgullosa. Decidida.

Y puedo tocar el cielo

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