Lemon Water


Category Archive

The following is a list of all entries from the Emotions category.

Dodged a bullet by getting punched

My close, really really close friend and I just spent a whole hour, maybe even up to one and half, two, explaining a situation with our previous crush/thing/not really to another friend. This guy, basically, screwed around with our feelings and moved on to wreak more havoc around him.

It took 45 minutes to get past the first recap of this guy, the main explanation of what the hell is going on. In this point, the consternation, anger, bewilderment and part desperation shone out through as the friend we relived what had gone in one year for this one, single, infuriating boy. And I realized, after an hour or so of ranting and listening and reviewing all the things he has done to, not one, not two, but four girls (no wait, five, and maybe soon a sixth) in the space of a single year…

He hasn’t physically abused or tortured or insulted anybody, but he basically pulled all of us into this swirling vortex of his indecisive “I like you” “oh wait I have issues” “but no I want you” “But I want your friend” “I want your other friend” “I want your other other friend”.

And what I just wrote does not explain at all, or give justice to the grand scheme of how much havoc we let him wreak on our lives. But I realized.

This guy is a freaking psychopath. Holy -.

Our friend,w ho was listening, literally hit his head against the couch,g roaned, writhed, and just looked at us dazed throughout the narrative, before bursting into so many exclamations of confusion and general disbelief that people act like that.

I dodged a bullet by effectively taking the equivalent of a punch. Not pleasant at all, but far safer. I got lucky and only minor heart break/resentment.

And I had to get this out.


[The Wrock Project] Installment I

Hallo blog! I realize I have been neglecting you lately, but now, due to the fact that my twitter was getting flooded, I bring the Wrock Project to this blog post!

What is Wrock? Why, WIZARD ROCK (as if I wasn’t enough of a geek/nerd/dork). It’s inspired by, of course, Harry Potter. And since I’m a geek through my Quidditch Team I might as well start listening to some and see which ones I like. I’m going through them alphabetically. Now, since I was flooding my poor twitter with my comments, I’m passing them over here and the proceeding to write more!

  1. Starting to listen to Wrock as I do my homework. I am such a geek. 7:04 PM Mar 28th
  2. It’s official, Project Wrock has started: for the next few days I’m going to listen to Wrock bands and link to the ones I like/amuse me
  3. “I’m On a Broom” by The 8th Horcrux http://www.myspace.com/the8thhorcrux really cracked me up!
  4. Liking the clap/chorus part of “Dumbledore” by ABCDEFG! Otherwise, kinda meh for me
  5. EVERYTHING from Aberforth Dumbledore and the Nannies CRACKS ME UP, but “Goats” in particular is hilarious http://bit.ly/bGTAYD
  6. Accio Hagrid! has a cool name, but all the singing does is make me think of Alvin & the Chipmunks and laugh http://bit.ly/bFiS59 XD
  7. Both love and hate “Hufflepuff is For Weirdos” by The Acid Pops. I feel it’fs too mean but otherwise it’s fun http://bit.ly/decEZD
  8. The Canadian group The Acid Pops, however, didn’t gain a favourable comment from me http://www.myspace.com/theacidpopswizrock
  9. On the other hand, it’s pretentious of me to say that considering I’m not musical or a good music critic, but tis my humble opinion
  10. Loved every single of Alas Earwax!’s songs, so fun for an HPnerd!!!! http://www.myspace.com/earwaxrock
  11. The Albeus Humbledores had a cool name but I can’t listen to their music, to be honest… #wrock
  12. Albus and Dumbledore was a meh artist. #Wrock #WrockProject
  13. However, I do like “Elder Wand” by Albus and the Dumbledores, even if it is a short guitar riff http://bit.ly/9p4FJ0 #Wrock
  14. “Teddy’s Man Points” by Albus and the Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledores is hilarious though short! #Wrock

And that is as far as I tweeted before deciding my followers were probably suffering. On to the next part!

  • The lyrics for “Buy You a Drink [Wrock the Yule Ball]” by The Albus Severi are hilarious and the song is better than I expected. Fun = )
  • I LOVE love LOVE the Demo Track that The Albus Severus Potters has on the site. Is there more coming out?!?!?! When?!?!
  • All Abroad the Knight Bus is pretty funky, although their songs do get monotone. For me it’s more of a “listen to the lyrics and laugh” thing, unlike The Albus Severus Potters where I seriously want to listen to the actual music that the demo hinted at. “Cursed” is pretty funny, following Harry’s adventures as a night-time rule breaker and what seems to be his constant bad luck and trouble magnetism, and I quite like the base music. However, “Detention Sucks” annoys me. A lot. “A Pensieve Full of Memories” was surprisingly restful and really helped me chill out and do my work. I also actually liked “Quidditch Games” more than I usually would a song of this style. Unfortunately, their demo for “A Day in Hogsmeade” really bored me. Mixed reviews for these guys, but they actually have a variety of songs which gives them a plus in my book (blog). Besides, they have a pretty cool name.
  • The Amazing Merlin is good – as only a slight metalhead (I haven’t stopped to listen to The Sword or Walls of Jericho in a long time, damn), I found I could sit and enjoy this and every so often get the urge to headbang a bit (which I refrained from because I’m supposed to be doing homewor and headbanging would distract me even more). “The Dragon” is probably my favourite of their tracks, and I prefer the vocals version of “Storm of the Wizard”. A bit more toned down than I expected, but fine.
  • Amortentia stuck a blank for me. I suppose the guitar melody/harmony/whatever (I suck at music, shush, I just know there is a basic guitar sound there) was ok, but otherwise. Bleh. At least the idea for their song “Draco’s Gay” is fun.
  • My my, look at that, another band named Amortentia. This one definitely is better than the other Amortentia, and “Argus Loves” in particular is interesting, as it is written from Argus Filch’s viewpoint.
  • Anapnea. This solo singer seems to me to be doing Covers (I’m not sure about Full Moon and Between the Bars), and he has nice vocalization. Perhaps he should collaborate with somebody for more creative work?
  • Angelina and the Chasers is a rather good find so far – I like the harmonics (I sound like I know what I’m talking about!), and the song themes. Some parts of the lyrics could be more creative, but I can definitely sit and enjoy them. “The Frozen Smile” in particular really puts me in a sad, contemplative mood, but then it deals with one of the twin’s death…

And that was the first installment! Wait with bated breath for the next one! (Or shake your heads and chuckle, if you prefer).


Settling In

I arrived yesterday at around 4 pm, and met, coincidentally, just outside of the car, the President of my Dorm (I think he is a sophomore). He immediately called the House Team, consisting of the student fellows, which are the guys and gals that are in charge of a floor and the freshmen in it, and they helped me take all my stuff up. I think I took too much, but I’ll decide later on what to send back with my dad when he returns in late September. In five minutes, all my bags and boxes where in my floor, in teh common room, as I still didn’t have my key. Then, my student fellow gave me a quick tour of the facilities (pool table area, laundry room, kitchen, etc), before having to hurry off, as the Student Fellows and all sundry are having training. I feel like I’m looking at College’s equivalent of PGC, however, so I totally understand. (EEeh, I’m a freshgal again!) The Prez was a bit irritated that the International Services Group hadn’t told him that the Int’nl students where arriving yesterday and today, as it was scheduled exactly in their training period, so they can’t help us move in. It was very short at them, and he seems like a pretty awesome person, cool, calm, etc.

We then went to the main entrance to get my key, and they gave a bag with a few snacks that became my breakfast today: an apple and a granola bar with apple taste (it was really sweet, though). I went up to my dorm again, entered my room, and started taking photos of all the details of damage that they might charge me for at the end of the year (a tip an International gal gave me). Made my bed, set up my stereo, etc, etc, took a break to check my dad in, had dinner, settled in. It was really hard to go to sleep, it is so hot here. I have a fan, but even that isn’t enough, aaaaaaargh. Heat. Heat. Sweat. Sweltering. I even took a shower to go to sleep, but it didn’t help me so much.

Unfortunately, I discovered that one of my suitcases was desintegrating on the inside, so it’s lining was falling apart on my clothes ,so now they have this weird gunk on them. I’m going to do laundry today, get them clean, and while they wash, finish setting my room up. Fuuun. I am angry with the bag, which goes out to the trash, but now that I’ve had breakfast I should probably go shower and get dressed, it’s 10:30 am and I took a long time getting up. (Hard to sleep in the heat, hard to get up once you get to sleep.) I kicked off my sheet, too.

All in all, pretty good. I hopefully get to meet Austin later on, and other Int’nl students. Ciao!

[Edit] I can’t pay for the laundry yet with my card, but now my room is pretty clean, excluding a bit of am ess with my clothes (I put the ones that need to be washed in the hamper, though). I don’t know what to do of myself, now!


¡Bolivia, Corazon!

Amor, amor, tierra de paisajes escarpados, de un cielo que hala tu alma a la eternidad, de aire puro, de espacio cristalino, de formaciones de rocas que han sobrevivido siglos y se alargan y retorcen ante la mirada que le ofrecemos… es musica para mis ojos, arte para mis oidos, es…

es tierra y alma, es alma de tierra, y esta tierra es mi alma.

Perhaps those few lines were overtly corny, but nothing ever really captures how I feel about visiting Home and Family. Visiting La Paz is like entering a fantastic dream, and little details or a spare sound or smell can bring tears to my eyes. It is finally resting; it is putting my heavy bags down and realizing that I am home, that the people here love me, and that I belong. It makes my heart beat stronger, not just from the altitude, but from the pure joy. Why else am I always near tears when I first see the city spread out before me? It is all the more powerful because my home is beautiful.

What else can you say about the Illimani when the clouds part and let you gaze on the spirit that guards the city? Illimani is the mountain God, the Apu that looks after La Paz. It is at his faldas that we make our home. Can you deny the beauty of that bright sky? It is wide, wide and open, a wheeling expanse that is brighter, clearer, more pure than in any other city I have visited. The red earth, red earth, tierra patria, the colour and the shapes of the sierra behind the city are just… it’s magical to me. Nourishing.

Bolivia es mi corazon, oh no?


The Highest Compliment You Can Get

I dissapeared for a while. Sorry about that. At least, sorry for leaving you hanging.

I’m happy.

My dad keeps repeating to me that I’ve been paid the highest compliment I could have received. My mom tells me it is better than getting an award at school. And I am feeling so intensely lucky.

Thank you world.

Of the colleges that I applied to the following accepted me:

  • Bard
  • Bennington
  • Bowdoin
  • Middlebury
  • Mt Holyoke
  • Smith
  • Vassar
  • Williams

I was waitlisted at

  • Swarthmore

My top three choices were

  • Bard
  • Vassar
  • Mt Holyoke

And I visited

  • Bard
  • Vassar
  • Mt Holyoke
  • Williams
  • Bowdoin

I took off Bowdoin because… it was so USAmerican. So typical. I could already feel myself constrained in it. Lovely college, good academic level, but… I want a more international, global place, where I can STRETCH. I took of Williams because it felt too… not conservative, but structured? I liked the free feeling of others. Mt Holyoke was lovely, but a bit WASPy to me, women’s only (and at times that is good, at times that is bad, but I decided that I wanted to flourish in a place with a fuller spectrum of gender), and didn’t give as much financial aid. The final choice between Vassar and Bard… was really hard. I still look at it and feel a bit unsettled at how hard it was.

I chose Vassar because I felt I could thrive there more. I loved Bard’s eccentricities, the “fringe” quality of it… but I also realized I would have a harder time fitting in, settling in. And I’m tired of having to work to do that, considering how my life has all been “survive and adapt” with each move. I will still do that, of course, but Vassar will let me be myself… without an expectation of going farther into the fringe, to be more wacky. While visiting Bard, I felt a bit like… there would be judgement on how mainstream you are. And that you would find people trying their best to reject everything that is accepted in “main”. Posing. In a sense. That is easily outweighed by the incredible people, the creative, the wacky, the crazy, the unique, the truly-honest-really-themselves-and-no-one-else-people, but…  I’m not so crazy. I love people who are crazy creative, crazy original. But I know, that in comparison, Vassar will help me more. I will spend less energy adapting, more energy in thriving. In creating. In learning.

Vassar is space. Vassar is opportunity. It’s top level education, it’s got amazing classmates, it has the beautiful campus, amazing facilities. It has the atmosphere of enjoyment, of freedom, of learning. It has the sense of a community. It feels… it feels like it could be home. It feels like I can live and be happy, learn and enjoy, study and grow. I feel that it will give me space to explore who I am, what I want to do, but be there next to me in case I start teteering at an edge. I feel it will let me choose my path, but will give me maps and guidelines, and give me the stones and help to build my own trace.

There is a reason why my favorite quote is “caminante, no ha camino, se hace camino al andar”… or “traveller, there is no path; you make your path as you walk.”

I’m happy with my choice. I’ve been talking to amazing people, to creative people, to the people that are going to be my friends and classmates and who will define the next four years of my life.

Estoy feliz. Orgullosa. Decidida.

Y puedo tocar el cielo


..::I Can Touch The Sky::..

Gmail Chat with Anon, on Sunday Mar 22

me:

1:51 PM I’m disgustingly cheerful
1:52 PM So
jajajaja
JAJAHAHAJA
1:53 PM -sings “We Are The Champions” by Queen-
1:58 PM anonxeidrii: >D
WHY?
me: CU>
BECAUSE
I GOT INTO MT HOLYOKE
AND LIKE
I HAVE A SCHOLARSHIP
AND LIKE
I CAN TOUCH THE SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
anonxeidrii: >DDDDDDDDDDD YEEEAAAAAHHHHH
1:59 PM omg
THATS SO GREAT O__O
me: YAHAJAJAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
anonxeidrii: STJYTRTERTYETYRTKY
DRJ
IOH
HIOG
me: IT FEELS SO FUNKY
anonxeidrii: G’GUYTYSEYH
me: IT REALLY DOES
DID YOU KNOW TOUCHING THE SKY MAKES YOU HIGH?
anonxeidrii: xD all the crap pays off?!
HAHA
me: JAJA IT DOES
anonxeidrii: THE SKY IS MADE OF CRACK
me: THE SKY IS THE CRACK
2:00 PM OF ALL CRACKS
Not only was I accepted to Mt Holyoke, but they gave me an amazing scholarship (Twenty First Century Modern Scholars Scholarship, and it’s renewable every year!), they invited me to a Diversity Worskhop where they were GOING TO PAY MY TRIP AND BACK (I won’t be able to attend even if I get accepted though, it’s in the beginning of April and we are dying with exams and more over here), and in the Science Scholars program, which would take in July and I would travel and get research facilities aaaaaaaaaaaaand… = D
Oh my God. I’m so happy. Bennington, Smith, Mount Holyoke…
And today?
I got accepted to my top choice. Bard. With it’s 25% admittance rate (at least 2008).
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
My twitter:
  1. *shrieks* AAAAAAAAH I GOT INTO BARD COLLEGE! AAHH!! *screams* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH =D
  2. Universe, are you TRYING to make me extremely happy? Because it’s working.
  3. I love you! I promise I’ll work my arse off to take advantage of all these opportunities! I’ll get started on my homework right now! = D ❤
  4. Ok, so I danced first, which half the time consisted of jumping up and down in time with the beat. But still!! JAJA

Ajajajaja I’m so happy = ´D      ;w;     TwT



Smith Lightens My Horizon

Today, I was informed online that I had been accepted into Smith College. I learned that my friend -S- also got in.

I’m so happy. I’m so happy!! My dad was very proud! When I ran down to tell him, he made a funny motion with his fist and said “YES! I KNEW IT!” in Spanish.  He then just HAD to check all my other colleges, even if they won’t post the decision yet. ❤ I’m really happy! My mom was happy but I had to tell her through chat. I think I’m making them proud = D

My dad says we might travel together during Semana Santa to visit my top 3 choices when I find out about all of my colleges. I’m both looking forwards to and terrified by it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Like -S- says, “2 down, 7 to go”.


Dad and Books!

My dad came back from his business trip to Boston, which makes me a very, very happy kid. Additionally, he talked to a trustee of Mount Holyoke, who reassured him and through him me, that I’m probably going to have a good time getting into colleges. I certainly hope so.

My dad is baaaack *sings* I really missed him, especially since soon I’m going to have to go away to college, and well, I’m going to miss my family. He also got me some two shirts even though I didn’t ask him for any – I specified books, and maybe a pashmina, jajaja! He’s been amazing so far, no fights etc, and I’m just… overjoyed his back.

THE CRUX of this post, however, is the list of books my dad got on his trip! Here they are! I can’t wait to read them!

My Requests

He wasn’t able to get all of my requests, obviously, but he did amazingly well. I gave him two authors, a few specific recommendations from Mr. Pruzinksy, my English Teacher, and requested some books about Third Culture Kids. My dad was really impressed with Mr. P’s recommendations, as well as my request for Earth Democrac. He plans on reading them as well, so I guess these are going to become family books.

  • Earth Democracy – Vandana Shiva
  • What is the What – Dave Eggers
  • Drown – Junot Diaz
  • Terrier – Tamora Pierce
  • Unrooted Childhoods; Memoirs of Growing Up Global – Anthology
  • Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds – David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken
  • A Gift of Dragons – Anne McCaffrey

Family

  • Dreams from My Father – Barrack Obama [Everybody is going to be reading this…]
  • The River of Doubt – Candice Millard [He got this for my brother but really recommends it to me as well]
  • 2009 State of the World: into a warming world – the Worldwatch Institute [We are getting a lot of books and reading regarding this subject in my family. My dad says this was an amazing book.]

Of course, he brought magazines and a few candies as well, but it’s the books that I like the most. Besides, I’m glad I can hug my dad again, and I’m all the more aware how I’m going to miss my family.

Gods above and below, I am grateful for my family and life.


I think he meant a different closet

Maybe I should make a little category for “anecdotes”, since I’m going through them so much. Ok, remember from one of my previous post the “P.M.” guy I kicked after his idiotic comment? I swear the guy likes making me uncomfortable (well, a lot of people do XD) but still… I think this guy makes a hobby of making everybody as confused and off-balance as he can.

So, during Study Hall, I went to my art classroom to get some work done. During that period, P.M. is in said classroom giving my teacher a hard time with his half-assed concepts and jokes. I started getting some feedback from a friend of his, E. about an artwork I had, and we started talking about the stigma and exclusion of homosexuals in society and similar, very lightly. P.M. comes in saying that there wouldn’t be a problem if everybody went into the closet! (Or something similar). I don’t know how he comes up with lines like that.

Then he grabs my arm and pulls me closer, asking me if I want to go into the closet with him.

Yeaaaaaaah… I pulled away as gracefully as I could and continued the conversation with E. But mier, that was weird.


Of Course I Kicked You

I mean, honestly, what other reaction did you think I would have?! (Nevermind that you don’t read this blog and I probably won’t link you to it.)

What am I talking about? Basicamente, a classmate of mine, P.M. so as to give him some sort of privacy, was being ridiculous. I was working on art during my Study Hall period, during which he has art… so we were in the same classroom. As I’m washing clean the pallete and brushes, he comes around and pulls slightly at my apron’s strings (I wanted to protect my clothes from the paint, duh), and he starts talking about how he liked pulling the bikini straps on girls, and how he had once pulled a 14-year old girl’s straps… and she wasn’t able to catch the top in time. Now, unfortunately, I was still grinning like an idiot because this dude is so ridiculous, I feel like laughing all the time.

But as he goes away, I step forwards and kick him, decently hard too (I hope I don’t leave a bruise…). And he’s all “You kicked me!” several times and by now I was REALLY honestly grinning happily. Well, no shit Sherlock. You just told me about how you apparently liked contributing in sexual harassment (why yes, exposing the breasts of bikini-wearing teenager girls against their will is sexual harassment!), and implied something when you pulled the back of my apron strings! Of course I hit you! You’ve probably seen me punch my friends (well… the guy friends) for saying something stupid, and that is soft!

I mean, geeze. At least it wasn’t like when my friend nicknamed me “Boobs”.

… I mean… seriously…

Ok, end rant.