Lemon Water


Category Archive

The following is a list of all entries from the emotionflurry category.

Dodged a bullet by getting punched

My close, really really close friend and I just spent a whole hour, maybe even up to one and half, two, explaining a situation with our previous crush/thing/not really to another friend. This guy, basically, screwed around with our feelings and moved on to wreak more havoc around him.

It took 45 minutes to get past the first recap of this guy, the main explanation of what the hell is going on. In this point, the consternation, anger, bewilderment and part desperation shone out through as the friend we relived what had gone in one year for this one, single, infuriating boy. And I realized, after an hour or so of ranting and listening and reviewing all the things he has done to, not one, not two, but four girls (no wait, five, and maybe soon a sixth) in the space of a single year…

He hasn’t physically abused or tortured or insulted anybody, but he basically pulled all of us into this swirling vortex of his indecisive “I like you” “oh wait I have issues” “but no I want you” “But I want your friend” “I want your other friend” “I want your other other friend”.

And what I just wrote does not explain at all, or give justice to the grand scheme of how much havoc we let him wreak on our lives. But I realized.

This guy is a freaking psychopath. Holy -.

Our friend,w ho was listening, literally hit his head against the couch,g roaned, writhed, and just looked at us dazed throughout the narrative, before bursting into so many exclamations of confusion and general disbelief that people act like that.

I dodged a bullet by effectively taking the equivalent of a punch. Not pleasant at all, but far safer. I got lucky and only minor heart break/resentment.

And I had to get this out.


Settling In

I arrived yesterday at around 4 pm, and met, coincidentally, just outside of the car, the President of my Dorm (I think he is a sophomore). He immediately called the House Team, consisting of the student fellows, which are the guys and gals that are in charge of a floor and the freshmen in it, and they helped me take all my stuff up. I think I took too much, but I’ll decide later on what to send back with my dad when he returns in late September. In five minutes, all my bags and boxes where in my floor, in teh common room, as I still didn’t have my key. Then, my student fellow gave me a quick tour of the facilities (pool table area, laundry room, kitchen, etc), before having to hurry off, as the Student Fellows and all sundry are having training. I feel like I’m looking at College’s equivalent of PGC, however, so I totally understand. (EEeh, I’m a freshgal again!) The Prez was a bit irritated that the International Services Group hadn’t told him that the Int’nl students where arriving yesterday and today, as it was scheduled exactly in their training period, so they can’t help us move in. It was very short at them, and he seems like a pretty awesome person, cool, calm, etc.

We then went to the main entrance to get my key, and they gave a bag with a few snacks that became my breakfast today: an apple and a granola bar with apple taste (it was really sweet, though). I went up to my dorm again, entered my room, and started taking photos of all the details of damage that they might charge me for at the end of the year (a tip an International gal gave me). Made my bed, set up my stereo, etc, etc, took a break to check my dad in, had dinner, settled in. It was really hard to go to sleep, it is so hot here. I have a fan, but even that isn’t enough, aaaaaaargh. Heat. Heat. Sweat. Sweltering. I even took a shower to go to sleep, but it didn’t help me so much.

Unfortunately, I discovered that one of my suitcases was desintegrating on the inside, so it’s lining was falling apart on my clothes ,so now they have this weird gunk on them. I’m going to do laundry today, get them clean, and while they wash, finish setting my room up. Fuuun. I am angry with the bag, which goes out to the trash, but now that I’ve had breakfast I should probably go shower and get dressed, it’s 10:30 am and I took a long time getting up. (Hard to sleep in the heat, hard to get up once you get to sleep.) I kicked off my sheet, too.

All in all, pretty good. I hopefully get to meet Austin later on, and other Int’nl students. Ciao!

[Edit] I can’t pay for the laundry yet with my card, but now my room is pretty clean, excluding a bit of am ess with my clothes (I put the ones that need to be washed in the hamper, though). I don’t know what to do of myself, now!


¡Bolivia, Corazon!

Amor, amor, tierra de paisajes escarpados, de un cielo que hala tu alma a la eternidad, de aire puro, de espacio cristalino, de formaciones de rocas que han sobrevivido siglos y se alargan y retorcen ante la mirada que le ofrecemos… es musica para mis ojos, arte para mis oidos, es…

es tierra y alma, es alma de tierra, y esta tierra es mi alma.

Perhaps those few lines were overtly corny, but nothing ever really captures how I feel about visiting Home and Family. Visiting La Paz is like entering a fantastic dream, and little details or a spare sound or smell can bring tears to my eyes. It is finally resting; it is putting my heavy bags down and realizing that I am home, that the people here love me, and that I belong. It makes my heart beat stronger, not just from the altitude, but from the pure joy. Why else am I always near tears when I first see the city spread out before me? It is all the more powerful because my home is beautiful.

What else can you say about the Illimani when the clouds part and let you gaze on the spirit that guards the city? Illimani is the mountain God, the Apu that looks after La Paz. It is at his faldas that we make our home. Can you deny the beauty of that bright sky? It is wide, wide and open, a wheeling expanse that is brighter, clearer, more pure than in any other city I have visited. The red earth, red earth, tierra patria, the colour and the shapes of the sierra behind the city are just… it’s magical to me. Nourishing.

Bolivia es mi corazon, oh no?


Smith Lightens My Horizon

Today, I was informed online that I had been accepted into Smith College. I learned that my friend -S- also got in.

I’m so happy. I’m so happy!! My dad was very proud! When I ran down to tell him, he made a funny motion with his fist and said “YES! I KNEW IT!” in Spanish.  He then just HAD to check all my other colleges, even if they won’t post the decision yet. ❤ I’m really happy! My mom was happy but I had to tell her through chat. I think I’m making them proud = D

My dad says we might travel together during Semana Santa to visit my top 3 choices when I find out about all of my colleges. I’m both looking forwards to and terrified by it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Like -S- says, “2 down, 7 to go”.


I think he meant a different closet

Maybe I should make a little category for “anecdotes”, since I’m going through them so much. Ok, remember from one of my previous post the “P.M.” guy I kicked after his idiotic comment? I swear the guy likes making me uncomfortable (well, a lot of people do XD) but still… I think this guy makes a hobby of making everybody as confused and off-balance as he can.

So, during Study Hall, I went to my art classroom to get some work done. During that period, P.M. is in said classroom giving my teacher a hard time with his half-assed concepts and jokes. I started getting some feedback from a friend of his, E. about an artwork I had, and we started talking about the stigma and exclusion of homosexuals in society and similar, very lightly. P.M. comes in saying that there wouldn’t be a problem if everybody went into the closet! (Or something similar). I don’t know how he comes up with lines like that.

Then he grabs my arm and pulls me closer, asking me if I want to go into the closet with him.

Yeaaaaaaah… I pulled away as gracefully as I could and continued the conversation with E. But mier, that was weird.


Something Good This Way Comes

Things are looking up a lot since my last post – and for a while now. I just couldn’t bring myself to write about it, since I needed to  let the wave of happiness take its course without redirecting it by writing the blog post.

I probably just confused everybody there.

But a number of good things have been going on since, and quite a few are college related. Life is becoming happier and I feel much better, not as much stress. I feel I can actually tackle my school work and come out winning now that the family issue is not so threatening.

First off, I had two college interviews by phone. Well, one wasn’t so much an interview, but rather sounded more like they were trying to convince me to go to Mt Holyoke. That was rather nice and flattering actually, especially when the trustee said that the office of admissions had called me “Hot Property”.  While I think that “property” is a very wonky term (I’m person! Not an object! I am not owned!) I’m just going to go ahead and take that as a compliment and a good sign for the future.

The second interview was Bennington, and I really enjoyed talking to the woman, even if we kept getting some Skype glitches. I learned some very interesting things about Bennington, especially its Environmentally friendly policies (YAY!) and other details. Suffice to say, I was really happy, I think the woman was happy, and I think that it gave a good impression.

Oh… additionally, talking about Bennington… yesterday I received an email notification that I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED! MY FIRST ACCEPTANCE TO A COLLEGE! =’ ) I feel very, very happy, and it’s like I reached my first milestone. The two college interviews themselves were enough to get me into a “music high” when I had them (I think I scared a few friends over MSN because I was typing really fast, in capslock at times, and very, very hyper as I blasted music and ocassionally dissapeared to dance to my music.)

I think there was more I wanted to say, but I am extremely happy right now, and I’ll just go do my homework. (My family situation, btw, is better, but still has its problems. I’m hoping it won’t explode again and we’ll be able to fix this.)

PS: To those who were here for the Avatar Casting Fracas, I’ll start updating again – I’m sorry I zoned out of it, but I had a lot to deal with : ( But I shall! *determination*


Anxiety Overload

I haven’t really told people, but I’m currently having some family problems – or well, the family is having problems. Yesterday, Sunday, was pretty much the huge gunk mess up, but I really don’t want to talk about it.

Today, after fighting with my brother at around 5 pm, I began to feel pain in my chest, where my heart is. At first I tried to ignore it, but after a while I started getting worried and googled the symptoms for a heart attack. I KNOW I am too young to have a heart attack, but if you feel pain right hwere your heart is… well, you get scared. I got scared enough to call my mom while I was walking my dog, and she sent me back home, where I waited for my dad.

He called a while before, as sweet as he can be, the moments when I love him most, but since before we had been so off that just added more pain. When he arrived and started calming me down, I did start feeling better, and told him that it had started hurting after my fight with my brother (when he hit me in the head).  This led to him calling my brother back and telling him to never touch me again… which made it hurt more. Based on that, he reached the conclusion that I had been having an anxiety attack based on all the drama that we’d just been going through. He calmed me down, gave me yummy stuff to eat, and I started talking to him about webcomics.

I’m better, my chest stopped hurting, although the left side of my neck really, really hurts.

So I’m going to go distract myself. Draw. Do something. Calm down.

Yeah.

The pain will go away.


I Can Dream Of Better Representation in Fantasy

I can envision a future MMOG where character selection starts out with a degendered/desexualized body wherein players can pick and size features such as breasts, hips, and muscle sizes, as well as the gender identity of their character (male, female, transgendered), and where characters can pick the types of clothing they wear so that the same outfit on a male is not automatically pants and on a female not automatically a skirt.

Oh please do. I’d make one female character with the muscles I can only dream of.

Is it too much to ask? When I played WoW, I would wince constantly from the female version of some clothes. Not to mention my then-friend’s Succubus, especially considering how he always made his warlock summon her so I would be irritated.

I can still hear her horrible lines and fawning “seductive” tone. And the objectification of her body…

And there wasn’t even an Incubus for female Warlocks. D <

I’m not a huge gamer, but I really love MPORGS,  when I find the time for them. I love fantasy stories, epic journeys, quests (that aren’t too repetitive and annoying), and I love the interaction you can sometimes find in these games. But honestly? Not a very safe or welcoming place for women or girl gamers.

So at least this is a step in the right direction.

Note: I’m too depressed to write about anything else. Sorry about disappearing, but massive personal upheaval in the family area, and honestly, I just don’t want to talk about it.

I just can’t wait to get away to college.

And a month ago, I couldn’t imagine wanting to leave my family, despite still doing Finacial Aid forms.


Sending Off My Hopes + Steph’s Bday + Insun and Her Prom Dreams

I know I haven’t been blogging a lot about my personal life (like Steph complained), and I decided that today’s achievement is enough to write a post about.

First though, I’m going to recount the last two friend-things I did.

First, I went out with my friend Insun a few days ago to one of the malls near where I live. We were originally going to watch a movie, but we ended just walking around and catching up, before she brought up the Prom up, when we saw some dresses. That led to a discussion of what type of dress would fit our respective bodies, why, what colours, etc… etc… To be honest, she got me kind of excited about choosing a dress, even if I’m not exactly the “Dress! Make up! GET READY FOR TEH PROM!” type of girl. (Actually, I’m pretty sure you can’t really give me a “type” or label, so that works just fine for me.) Unfortunately, then she went on to talk about dates and the rest, which didn’t make me too happy. At least we figured out we could manage to make a gals-only table, since the boyfriend for my friend Mabe won’t be here at the time, and we could perhaps organize it with our mutual friends. I’d rather not start worrying about the whole issue, oh… I don’t know, four months early? It became a pretty funny conversation though. After buying ourselves an ice cream, we walked to my place, where we played Wii DDR, and had loads of fun with that thing. Honestly, I’m using it to workout in the mornings now! XD Oh Nusni…

Second, I went out yesterday for Steph’s birthday with her, (obviously), Mari, Kate, and a new girl whose name I have no idea how to spell, at Jockey. Eating, talking, and following Mari take photos was pretty damn fun, and I think it’s rather interesting how we ended up seating when we ate. See, to my left was B-day gal and Kate, to my right was Mari and… the girl. The two on my right were the randomer, rather perverse people of the group, to the left were the more sensible and withdrawn (that doesn’t make them less awesome) gals, and I was in the middle. > D I guess I was living up to being a Libra or something similar. The only sad thing is that when I arrived home I couldn’t find my wallet, and I called TGI Friday’s in case they had found it, but nope. I don’t believe I lost it, for once, and my mom agrees that it was probably stolen. I’m glad they didn’t get my cellphone… I JUST got it.

Finally, my supposedly real reason for this blog post (It kind of is)… I finished submitting ALL my college stuff. Finally! Today, I sent off all the last forms needed for my Financial Aid Applications at all my colleges, so I don’t have to worry anymore! I just have to wait for the letters, and trust me, I will NOT do a countdown. At least not until there is like a month left. Next on my list of things to worry about: Homework and IB Exams! Oh, and driving!

So yes…

I’M FREE OF THE FRIKKIN COLLEGE APPS! SIII FINALMENTE, LIBRE!

*dances a small jig*


AtLA’s Friky Diky Cast: The Best Links Roundup (Under Work)

Since I seem to be getting pretty good at roundups, I decided to start making a few more selective ones. This one is dedicated to collecting the (IMHO) best ones protesting the situation, instead of the “EVERYTHING I CAN FIND” in my first roundup.  I’ll try to have it organized and in categories.

Glockgal (She is being so amazing regarding this issue that she deserves her own category)

Why it matters

Why Anime Characters “Don’t Look Asian”

Evidence that AtLA is based on Asian and Inuit Cultures

Other

Movements or Projects

Outside of the Fandom, but still valid and with insight